The Northern Lights #1

Since beginning to read the book Let The Northern Lights Erase Your Name, I have really come to enjoy it and surprisingly have a difficult time putting it down. This is especially ironic considering in my reading inventory I said I generally dislike reading the books that are assigned in school. Although, we aren’t too far into the book I have already developed multiple opinions about the characters, especially the main one Clarissa.
First and foremost, I am having a difficult time having any sympathy for Clarissa while continuing to read her story. She is quite stubborn and won’t allow others who are important in her life to help her out or provide some sort of explanation for the so called “betrayal” that she feels. While, I do have strong feelings for Clarissa’s unkindly behavior, after reading the last group of assigned pages her behavior is becoming more understandable. She describes the moment her mom left her and how when she went to go meet her mom in the mall to go home, a woman told her that her mom left and said that she had gotten tired of waiting. This moment must have had a terrible affect on her, making her feel as though her mom was tired of caring for her. Often people use being tired as an excuse to get out of doing something; “I am too tired to clean my room so I will do it tomorrow”, or “I’m too tired to do my homework now so I will do it later tonight”. These excuses usually prevent someone from getting things done because he or she thinks it’s a justifiable reason for not doing something. In the books case, Clarissa’s mom is using being tired as a reasonable excuse for her kids as to why she left them. She believed that saying she was tired would be enough explanation for her kids for her reason for leaving. Personally, I think this is the worst excuse ever and provides no explanation for her kids. After reading this segment of the book I realize why Clarissa just got up and left Panjak without saying anything or thinking that she needed to say anything; because her mom left easily without an explanation she feels that it’s ok for her to do it to and to have someone else feel the pain that she felt.
Generally in life people tend to justify their actions by repeating those actions that one’s close to them have done. Clarissa feels that because her mother leaving her hurt her so much that others around her must experience that pain too and to feel what it is like to be her.